You think you brought us up properly as mature individuals because we never brought home any problems, especially about incidents of fighting with other people or ruining your reputation as strict teachers and parents while growing up. You think we grew up normally because we were never brought to the Principal’s office for being involved in some cat fight as elementary kids, no policeman has ever knocked on our door for accidentally causing injury to some people during high school, or no teacher has ever labeled us as a problem child. But here’s what you don’t know about your almost ‘perfect’ progenies.
Your oldest daughter may seem stable but you have no idea how she is in the verge of breaking down from all the pressure she have at work and where she should be at this point of her life. She doesn’t show weakness because you taught her that strength is what is expected from her because she is the oldest. She shows aggression when challenged because it is now the only way she knows how to survive. Because she was taught that the only way she can win anything is if she can appear to be the more formidable opponent.
Your only boy. The only one who can pass down your name. You’ve put enough pressure on him to be the “face” of the family that he was never able to develop the ability to make decisions. Every move he made while growing up was always questionned, every attempt to gain back his freedom was struck down just because he was kid enough to try and challenge the limits at 10 years old. Most does it at 7. Now, look at him. He has grown up insecure and easily discouraged. He’s scared of trying because he thinks that he is already a failure in your eyes.
Lastly, your youngest and second daughter. I can’t even begin to explain what’s wrong with her. You’ve complimented her too much that she had an unrealistic and grandoise view or herself as a child. When it was struck down, she was left groping for what was left of her false self-concept. She didn’t want to go beyond her comfort zone because she didn’t have enough courage to fulfill her full potential. She’s insecure, selfish, and confused. She does not have any specific dream, but the worst thing about it is she doesn’t have anyone to talk about all these things to because she was taught from the very beginning to keep it in.
I’m not blaming you for the way our lives turned out to be. I’m just trying to tell you that these habits and acquired personalities will not be easily broken. We are not strong and we certainly are not perfect. We’re only trying to make it roght for the one who still has a chance. But despite that, life would’ve been so much easier if you just listen. You taught us never to question authority, but we would’ve been more courageous with unfamiliar experiences if we did. Now that we are starting to find our voice, it would’ve been nice if someone is interested enough to listen and of course, you would’ve been the first one we expect to. But you never really did. Perhaps because you also never learned how to.