Wake up at six thirty, sleep at eleven, and routine work in between.
My life was a running record until I accidentally pressed the replay button too hard. Now everything is in repeat and I can’t seem to get out of the vicious mindless cycle that really just gets me nowhere.
Though, really, I am not one to conplain. Because how can I, when my mornings are repeatedly filled with innocent laughters, cries and mundane mishaps
How can I, when all my ears can hear are the happy chatters of small voices, talking about the world in their sunshine-y point of view
How can I, when the only pretend I do is taking on roles for the little ones’ amusement as they invite me into their world of good monsters, superheroes, and princesses with colorful wings. At least in the mornings.
It is indeed a happy world, where I’m at. I’m just not sure if my skin is thick enough to endure the sunshine before it seep through and contaminate my resting soul.
Eversince I took a step into these gates, I’ve been filled with an overwhelming feeling that I have not yet come to terms with. Even now, a year later, I have yet to define this, this foreign thing that have uninvitedly settled into my bones. I’m not sure if I’ve become addicted to it, but I’m sure as hell isn’t fed up with this. Not yet. Just a little uncomfortable, I have to admit.
But this is the only place that makes me forget what ‘lonely’ feels like, the only place that makes ‘failure’ just a word in the dictionary. The only place, where, when I hear my name, I don’t tremble and cower in my awkwardness.
I may not know where I’ll be settling down in the real world, but I’m sure, this is one part of my chapter I will keep rereading for the rest of my life.
The place I never meant to go but thank God I ended up in anyway.