I write a lot of letters to a lot of people but never had I ever gained the courage to actually send it to them so consider yourself lucky if you are reading this. Thank you for making my 2016 a better year and for sticking to my side even when it is inconvenient. I know Iโ€™m not exactly the easiest person to be around with but you stayed close and I have never seen you taking a step back, so thank you. I am an introvert and everybody knows that, but you were actually one of the very few people who cared and understood. Iโ€™ve had some friends who looked at me exasperatedly whenever I refuse to go along with them where meeting new people and actually talking to strangers are involved. Iโ€™ve had friends who had pushed me too far from my comfort zone when I was not ready, and friends who left me behind when I was taking my time. But you, you adjusted to my mood swings too well that Iโ€™m not sure if you can actually read my mind. My life was a monotone when you entered and coaxed me out of my four-walled safeness. I know I keep insisting on my impulsivity but would you believe if I tell you that I wouldnโ€™t have ever stepped foot on the places we visited if you hadnโ€™t planned and made sure they were pushed through? Had you not supported and assured me, I would never have booked that ticket to Manila because, what hell was I supposed to do in a place Iโ€™ve never been in? Like, seriously? Who, in their right mind, would do that?

I know 2016 is not exactly the best year for you, considering youโ€™ve experienced the first time you felt you heart ripped in two and I am so sorry if I was inept with my advices and in actually making you feel better. Youโ€™ve made my life better when you entered it and I felt like I failed in returning the favour. But just know that whatever happens, whatever decisions you make, whatever actions you take, I will always be behind you, supporting you all the way. Of course, after I made sure it neither gets you hurt or killed, nor it can cause fatal damage to other people. I may not be brave enough to fight my battles, but Iโ€™d muster up the courage to fight beside you with yours and help you nurse the bruises and wounds weโ€™d obtain right after. Though, we might never need to because I am confident that your 2017 will be a lot better, if not the best. Because, dear, let’s put that stubborness and mind set to good use.

Before I met you I am scared with a lot of things: heights, public speaking, tight places, small talks, getting lost, the future, etc. Now Iโ€™m a lot more fearful because there is another fear that haunts my 3 AM thoughts and insomnia nights. Losing you. I know I donโ€™t say or show it much often, but I am scared as hell Iโ€™d wake up one day and find that youโ€™re name is not on my Friends List. I have a lot of quirks and strange behaviours that most people canโ€™t stand and all my life I have taught myself to brace for the day when my friends would walk away, one after the other. But I pray that you would walk, close the door, and stay.

I anticipate a lot of changes in my life in the coming year but I hope against hope that you would not be one of them. I finally have the courage I spent half of my life mustering to take the risk and find what makes me awake and Iโ€™m not sure if Iโ€™ll fare well with this endeavour but it would be a great help when I know I have someone to fall back on. No pressure though. As I told you, and have been trying to convince myself, I do not force people into my life and hold on to people who wants to walk away. Except you, Iโ€™d kill you if I ever see you stepping back even just an inch.

So hereโ€™s to more waterfalls to visit, more shores to photo op, more nights-turned-into-morning talks, more restaurants to go bankrupt on, more places to fall in love with, and hopefully, more shots of tequila for a crazy night we occasionally deserve. 

Love you! ๐Ÿ˜˜

From the person who is still hopeful in converting you from a Muggle to a Pureblood,

Still and will always be a Sleepyhead ๐Ÿ‘


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