If everytime you hear the harsh sound of your alarm in the morning, you feel your heart quicken as your brain snap out of its blissful trance from last night’s dream and begin to think of plausible excuses as to why you cannot make it work, but you groan inside as you stood up and make your way to the bathroom anyway, is it a good enough excuse to leave a job that seems secure and enough to pay the bills?
If you go through the day while daydreaming about another place every single second, if it is not happiness or fullfilment you feel every after the day ends, instead you feel rather relief or emptiness, would it be considered brave for running away from something that makes you catatonic?
If everytime you imagine another year of doing the same things, having endless unpredictable days, your legs weaken, your eyes start to fill up with tears, and you feel your anxiety growing inside you, again, are you being mature if you believe in your heart that a hazy future is better than the endless cycle days?
I am asking because I have no idea when the right time to let your feelings rule over reason is. I am asking because I do not trust that my brain is mature enough to come up with a practical solution to heart that has already forgotten what it beats for. I am asking because the future looks scarier than they’ve ever been before.